Aquarius- it is damn cold and you my friend are being a big baby about it. Seriously it happens every year get over it. Have a cup of coffee-Irish.
Capricorn- Go through your craft room and clean that shit up before you end up on an episode of hoarders. Really have you ever in your life finished even one project?!
Sagittarius- You done already fudged up your diet, but don't feel bad so has everyone else and honestly you had no intention of following through anyway. You were drunk when you made the resolution.
Scorpio- You never pay attention when people are talking and you have gotten along all this time so don't start now. Just keep nodding and smiling, everyone thinks you are a stoner anyways.
Leo- Bust into your savings and get yourself something nice, you deserve it. Go ahead spend all $11.67 Maybe you can get a nice happy meal, that will cheer you up.
Virgo- aahh those gambling debts are coming due soon, no happy meal for you my friend. Better luck next week.
Libra- In your golden years you will wish you had children to take care of you, start working on that this week.
Cancer- Keep doing what you are doing and don't overthink it. Really don't what is the worst that can happen. Enjoy and don't look over your shoulder. Karma doesn't care right now. Mwahahahaha
Gemini- Buy donuts for everyone you work with this week. Yes you, do it skinflint.
Taurus- You were such a twat waffle to everyone last year, that shit gets old so stop it.
Aries- lucky you!!!! 😏
