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Does coffee fuel your day or is it just liquid distraction?

  Contrary to popular opinion coffee is not just the fuel you use to start your day. Nope coffee is a whole category in and of itself and sorry to say it's just liquid distraction no matter when, where or how you drink it. Hold up there before you get your undies in a bunch and just hear me out. 

Think about a cafe in the very early morning in a small town. What do you see at the big table in the middle of the room? And at the counter? How about the small table in the corner? I'll give you a hint, waitresses have a name for it/them. 

1. Coffee Fuckers- they sit all day getting refills (when there was no limit on them) and pay for one cup all while being very needy and attention seeking,taking up the servers time from actual tables buying a meal and leaving a tip.

2. Cop Coffee- Cops gather for coffee but get a bad rap, it's an old joke about where's acop when you need one-having coffee and donuts. In their defense if they get a radio call they need to jump up and leave throwing the money on the table. They always tip and they are good to have around if you work in a seedy part of town

3. Coffee Girl-Comes in before, after and during work sometimes in a hurry sometimes not but mostly just sits alone on her phone in her own little world.

4. Coffee Guy- hurried in the morning-relaxed in the afternoon a little self absorbed, likes to talk a lot.

5. Old man coffee- mostly harmless sorta sad looking likes conversation, could be okay but could easily turn into a coffee fucker at any moment.

Do you have coffee on the run to get that jolt and wake up and get yourself going or are you using coffee as a reason to leave your desk, get a little gossip, walk around the office and check things out, waste some time,ponder the meaning of life,hide with it in the bathroom,hide in the walk in cooler with it,carry it around like a badge of honor while appearing to be working, a reason to socialize with people you don't like anyways but hey you're on a break.

Do you make coffee at home to sit and enjoy it or just get your day going or get a poop started? Do you stand in line to order an overpriced coffee that is more desert than a coffee? Do you have a favorite mug or a collection of them to use as a fashion accessory everywhere you go? 

What is your relationship with coffee, functional fuel or liquid distraction?  

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Cosmic Comedy from The Cosmic Curator of Chaos 2025 New Years horoscopes

 Your cosmic comedy for December 25th 2024 through January 2 2025

Pisces- Throw out all those arts and crafts supplies and just move on already.You know damn well you spend way more time buying supplies than you do using them and fact is your just not going to use or be able to sell anything you make, if you actually get past the thinking phase. Maybe spend that money you don't have on books because it's going to be a long winter and you can't drink everyday.

  Aquarius-WOW! are you ever loud and opinionated, granted
you do happen to be right most of the time but do you have to beat a dead horse telling everyone? We know already, no need to humiliate us all and besides watching your giant head swell up bigger than it already is makes us start laughing -at you not with you so reign in it in smart ass, that way your date will like when they're sober and not just drunk.

 

  Capricorn-You have spent the whole year over achieving and you went out and celebrated, boy did you celebrate! There's a 2 bagger laying in your bed that you don't know smiling at you with all 6 teethe, your head feels like it is ready to bust open, your eyes are itching and your mouth is dry, also if this person breathes in your general direction one more time you think you will hurl right in your own bed. Suck it up and get them out of there fast at all costs.Get something greasy to eat and some chocolate milk. Go back to bed and stay there for at least 2 days. Actually before any of that take a long hot shower and wash whatever that was in your bed off of you and start erasing whatever happened from you mind.  

Sagittarius-alright suzy sunshine stop dancing around like Tinker Bell and at least try and act your age. We know it's a given you won't ever take responsibility for yourself but please for the rest of us tone down your childlike outlook on everything, some of us have jobs to do. Also shave your legs or at least your pits Woodstock is over.

 Scorpio-Soooo you made an utter ass of yourself over the holidays and now you're mad and blaming everyone else? Well speaking for everyone else it won't work we all know what you did we know your not sorry and we didn't much like you before all that. Do you hear a collective haha? Good. Now go to your room and think about what you have done and write 1000 "I will not be a douche bag"

Leo-All those traffic cones you've been stealing all summer have come in handy, it was a brilliant idea on your part to make your own little detour through that private property and directly to a swamp. Next time though you might want to think twice before writing "property of your name" on each one. Sorry about the rabies shots you have to go through from that skunk you tangled with. Really your cat is a grey tabby not black and white, what were you thinking!?

 

 Virgo- Try starting the new year by throwing away the cheeto stained t-shirt you wear to bed every night and get your self some real pajamas or atleast a new t-shirt. I know I know it's been a rough year but things will get back to normal soon. or maybe a new normal anyway. Buck up some things never change, your feet still stink. Happy now?

Libra- Okay you need a change so go out and buy a whole new wardrobe, but totally change your style. That Ben Stein/Muppet thing you got going on isn't working for you any more.

Cancer-you Cancer have updated your style recently but you went into the way back machine and look like a wannabe hippy and you are nothing near that frumpy butt just try and tone the tye dye down  and get out of the 70s pants. Also it is not your job to finish every half empty drink on the bar because you think it's alcohol abuse. It may be but it is also gross.

 Gemini- Time to quit snooping and blabbing everything you find. Seriously you stir the shit pot more than any of the signs and it's about ready to bite you in your own ass. Maybe take up pottery making keep yourself busy so your big nose stays out of everyone else's business. Also don't cut or color your hair anytime soon because with all the shit stirring you been doing any little flaw is fair game and there's a line of people waiting to take you down a notch or ten. Oh and another thing, don't make your famous hot dish anymore, no one likes it-it's not famous and ramen noodles with peas does not equal anything anyone at a party wants to eat.

  Taurus-you are so stubborn you even argue with yourself and refuse to make a move because you're so busy overthinking and then don't want to take even your own suggestions. Quit screwing yourself over and just make decision, you can always change your mind. Or and you????

Aries- lucky you!! You are sloppy lazy and smoke pot all day long while eating oreos from under the couch. Don't change a thing because if people don't like it you don't care anyway.

   

 
  

 

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Crazy Mary's Cafe Finlayson Mn. My Review

  Crazy Mary's made it through covid and stayed up and running against the odds in a very small town. Even through a severe staffing shortage that has hit every small business in Pine County. They do their best to keep regular hours and a full menu with breakfast being one of their busiest times from my observation. (My driving by each morning and several times per day for work.)

Mary's has come through with large and sometimes out of the ordinary requests pretty last minute for family get togethers many time in the past few years and prices remain steady and competitive for the area. She is fast on togo orders for the lunch rush and everything is always clean and well maintained any time you come in. Daily specials and a good variety on the menu. The broasted chicken is one of my family's favorites. My personal is pancakes and eggs and I promise if you order over easy eggs  that is what you get. Hot and cooked correctly. I also recommend the Patty Melt. and the hot beef sandwich. Yes I like to eat.

Staff is always friendly and go out of their way to get the job done in a timely manner.

Mary and Christine treat you like family and that is pretty rare nowadays and much appreciated. 

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Cosmic Curator of Chaos -December 15th 2024

  

Pisces- You run late on the regular mostly because, well too bad so sad,you got other shit to do. Why change now? Seriously don't change, no one will notice anyway. Stop and get the coffee and some donuts and maybe an extra lunch in case you work over time.LOL your not gonna work over time the extra lunch is for 2nd break after coffee break. Just relax! Enjoy.

 Aquarius- WOW! Can you ever drink you been knockin back a case of beer a night on the regular and does it ever show! Try putting tea bags on your eyes when you go to bed at night....oops....I mean at 3 am when you pass out before work every night. Maybe just grow your bangs out wear a hat and sunglasses and pretending you are in mourning......because you will be.....for your liver.

  Capricorn- Your feet stink, seriously see someone about that you're going nowhere fast if you don't fix that. Don't worry about any holiday date specifically New Years Eve because really? THose Feet!

Sagittarius- You are the picture of a stuffed shirt only with pizza sauce slopped all over the front but you haven't had pizza in a week. So basically you look like a slob and you're boring. Step it up Sag, get some new clothes and stop boring everyone with your dry work stories, no one cares.

Scorpio- Things will go better in your relationships if you would just stop insisting on sex on the floor in front of the TV. That in itself isn't so bad it's the fact that you yell out whenever your team scores. The best thing you can do put a paper bag over your partner's head at least that way they can't be sure that your not paying attention to them. Make it fun draw your team logo on the bag!

Leo- As the year comes to an end try and get it through your head that YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS. Not only are you not the boss of everything, you are not the boss of anything! You can't run the show for Pete's sake you can't even run your own life. Go buy some new shoes.

Virgo- Stop thinking everyone wants to have sex with you and cut back on the mashed potatoes and gravy for awhile. Wok extra hours through the holiday season even if your workplace is closed you should volunteer to come in anyway. Start drinking scotch on the rocks at home alone things will look up.

Libra- quit your job, learn Mandarin and go ice fishing. Also clean your house first, hoarding is not an activity. Better yet find someone with OCD to get your house in order because Mandarin is way above your skill level and you will need all the time and silence you can get. Give it full two weeks before you give up and move on to pig latin. 

  

 Cancer- Stay home for three months and really think about what you have done, and don't sugarcoat it. Update your wardrobe frumpy butt other people have to see you. Don't be so selfish, get a python to keep you company.

   Gemini- This week is not looking good, you will have screaming diarrhea but won't be able to call in sick. Suck it up and eat some cheese but stay away from pepper jack. When all is said and done by the time Christmas is here you will be dehydrated and want to eat everything in sight and sleep for days. Fear not this will all clear up by New Years and then, well don't worry to much not everyone can be a winner.

Taurus- Go volunteer at a homeless shelter You have enough so share the wealth and give back. Where else will you find people to talk to anyway because you have been mean and selfish all year and no one wants to listen to you anymore if you're not offering food. Get rid of those purple paisley leggings your not Prince.

 Aries-You've got it made in the shade this week Aries, everything is going great with the exception of that nagging crazy itch you got going on in the nether regions. You will most likely need to get your barnacles scraped off but hey shit happens.